Tuesday, January 7, 2014

REFLECTIONS ON 2013

At an age where logic made sense to me, I remember hearing a quote attributed to Lewis Carroll:  "The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get."  That's how 2013 felt to me.  Nothing was overwhelming, but there were very few times when I had time to be bored.  

My knees following surgery 18 months earlier were good to go, but I'd hurt a hip dancing at Bob's and Dawn's wedding reception in September 2012 and three months later I was still hobbled.  So I started the year making the decision to trim some of the bulk off my frame.  There was no New Years Resolution -- it was a statement of fact.  A change in life style:  eat healthy foods and exercise.  And so I did.

Then in early February I got a phone call from Michelle.  She was on her way to the hospital. Brett, riding his motorcycle home from work, had been in an accident.  The driver of a car in a left-turn lane changed his mind and moved into the through lane and into Brett's path. Brett hit the vehicle's right front fender and flew over the hood. Injuries: multiple ribs broken front and back on the left side, a punctured lung and broken collarbone.  He was released from the hospital four days later and I was on my way to play nursemaid and chauffeur while he recuperated.

It was a bitter-sweet visit.  I hadn't had an opportunity to spend that much time with Brett once he was a teen with a driver's license.  But he didn't take recuperation lying down.  First, he couldn't lie down and breathe, so he spent the next several months sitting up to sleep.  And while I was there he insisted on getting outdoors every day -- at least walking the dogs down the street to the dog park.  One day Michelle dropped him off two miles away where he met a friend at a cafe.  I waited for his phone call to go pick him up. It never came because he had decided to walk home.  Need I say he was hurting when, walking with great care, he came up the steps to the front door?  Near the end of my two-week visit, Brett went back to work and began working out again by pedaling his bike on a trainer.  His report in November was that he's almost 100%.  With the insurance settlement, Brett invested in a replacement motorcycle and fresh gear.  He has also just taken delivery of a second bike. Can't keep a good man down!


Back here, Dawn tabled her interior design business and took a job with Penneys in their custom window treatment department.  She's been successful, but that's not a surprise because she enjoys and is good at design and sales.  However, it's meant less time with Sophia and Brandon.  And more time with them for me.  When Dawn has early morning appointments I sometimes keep Sophia company until she gets on the school bus. This photo was taken the end of August on their first day of school.  Sophia is in the 5th grade; Brandon, 8th. 









Both Brandon and Sophia were signed up for fall sports, and practices started in August. Sophia cheered again this fall and enjoys it so much she's let her hair grow (like the high school cheerleaders do) and has just taken a class in tumbling. The goal was to learn to do a round off back handspring. She is making progress. Her teacher/coach said she is capable but the hard part for a student is overcoming the fear of not being able to see where he/she is landing.  











Early in football practices, before the season's games began, Brandon hurt his back. He visited a series of doctors:  the family doctor, our chiropractor and then an orthopedist who recommended physical therapy when a CT scan didn't show a structural problem that would cause the pain.  Visits to the therapist two or three times a week for about three months strengthened his back and increased his flexibility, but the discomfort remains.  A neurologist ordered an MRI and said the problem involves the muscles around the sciatic nerve.  They are too tight and irritating the nerve.  He prescribed continuing physical therapy.  And so it goes on.  This school year Brandon isn't participating in any sport involving physical contact.



Younger brother Jeff's daughter was married in August and we three siblings who are rarely together attended, as did Dawn and Bob.  The wedding was outdoors at a city park with the reception at a downtown restaurant.  I think we guests had every bit as much fun as the bride and groom.  Jeff, who we learned has hearing aids, demonstrated how he controls what he hears with a remote control.  When he left the table, remote left behind, he stopped to talk with a friend.  Dawn picked up the remote and we all laughed as we watched the expressions change on Jeff's face while she twisted the dial.





The newlyweds, Alexander and Brittany Negrette, as they prepared to leave the reception.














Dawn isn't a little girl anymore, but this is still her Uncle Jeff, also known on this day as father of the bride.















As we sat at the reception, I noticed a wedding band on Jeff's finger and asked Mimi about it.  She explained that they had been married "a few weeks ago".  WOW!  Two reasons to celebrate on this day.  I have a new sister!!






By July I had lost 30 pounds, and now, a year after starting the new, healthier way of living by eating more nutritiously and exercising regularly, I have kept those pounds off.  I dropped six clothing sizes and invested in summer wear that fit better, donating the no longer needed items to the Salvation Army. But I still have some things in those larger sizes that are so comfortable, even if less attractive with their unnecessary bulk, to wear while at home. 

And now on to 2014....







Sunday, December 29, 2013

BRANDON AND SOPHIA - 2013

January

Sophia was 10 two months ago.  Brandon had a birthday on January 4 and is now 13, a teenager!




February




March




April




May




June



July



August



September



October



November



December



Sunday, June 2, 2013

SUMMER BREAK

Brandon and Sophia (13 and 10) are out of school for the summer.  I know from the experience of past years that they will be bored in a matter of days.


While Dawn and Bob went out with friends the other evening, I took Brandon and Sophia to dinner.  I asked about their plans for summer vacation.  Brandon, like so many his age, is more comfortable asking for things he wants.  I wanted to hear him say he was going to ask the neighbor if he could mow his grass so he could earn pocket money.  Instead he replied that he has a girlfriend, evidently anticipating the possibility of filling the days texting one another. Obviously he was focused on his plans and not thinking about what she might like to do on occasion.  So I asked him how he is going to pay to take her to a movie or fund some other activity if he has no money.  He was quiet for a moment and then replied that he guessed he'd ask the neighbor if he can mow his grass.

I also told Brandon and Sophia they need to take some responsibility for themselves by keeping their bedrooms neat, doing their own laundry, including folding and putting it away, and other daily chores that Dawn should no longer be expected to do, such as picking up after them.  Sophia was willing; Brandon, not so much.  He had told Dawn not long ago that his ideal job is sitting at a desk and telling someone else what to do.  That is what he already does with his friends.  And, unfortunately, it's working for him ... so far.  

When we got home from dinner, they were to pack to spend the next five days at Matt's.  Brandon was done in under 5 minutes.  And his room was straightened up.  Sophia, on the other hand, packed two bags and I think would have taken the kitchen sink if I'd been willing to help her dislodge it from the counter. 

She had a laundry basket full of dirty clothes (or clothes that she'd taken out of the drawer but been too lazy to put back when she decided to wear something else).  I had her drag the basket to the laundry area and instructed her in how to start the machine, put in the detergent and add the clothes.  

While the clothes were being washed, she sat with me and made a list of chores, one to be done each day:  do her laundry and put it away; clean her room, do a gardening chore, etc., and things to be done daily, such as clean out her cat's litter box.

When the washer cycle was done, I went with Sophia to show her the proper way to put the clothes in the dryer.

She lifted the lid to the washer, looked in, then at me, and asked, "Where's the water?"

Huh?  I explained that it drained out.

Her eyes fell to the floor, and she lifted each foot.  "Where'd it go?" she asked.

"Out the pipe and into the sewer."

"Ewww," was her single word reply.  Then she moved the damp clothes to the dryer, put in a half-sheet of fabric softener, and pushed Start.

Since Brandon and Sophia would be up early in the morning to go to Matt's, I sent her on to bed.  When the clothes were dry, I laid them in piles as I shook out the wrinkles.  I left the rolled up socks and shirts and shorts turned wrong-side-out as I found them.  I hope the socks were dry by the time they returned home on Thursday.  And not musty-smelling.  I'm curious to see if in the future Sophia straightens out her clothes before putting them in the laundry basket.

I know it will be a long summer for Brandon as he finagles to find someone to do his chores or tries to put off what must be done until someone with a weaker will than his thinks what-the-hell and does the task just to have it done.

Sophia will do the chores, but lacks focus so will find many distractions such as Instagram and Netflix which will interfere with her getting anything done quickly.

And so the summer of 2013 begins.


Friday, December 28, 2012

BRANDON AND SOPHIA - 2012

January

Sophia was 9 this past November and Brandon, 12 in early January.




February




March




April


Grandma's Surprise 70th Birthday Party


May




June




July




August

























September




October




November




December



Sunday, December 23, 2012

THE YEARS IN REVIEW

As the end of 2012 approaches, I'm preparing for 2013.  Among my tasks was copying photos to an external hard drive.  As I cleaned up the files, deleting photos saved in multiple locations, I got sidetracked looking at the pictures.  

Brandon has grown so much in the last year:  taller by several inches, a voice that's gone from boy to man and other physical characteristics of a 12 year old about to be a teenager.  The change has been so dramatic that I decided to share photos taken annually at or around Christmas.  

Brandon was born in early January 2000, and Sophia was born 34 months later in November 2002.

2000
2001



2002
2003

2004

2005

2006
2007


2008


2009

2010


2011



2012


This last photo was taken at Dawn's and Bob's September wedding and illustrates so well how Brandon, still 12, is changing from a boy to a young man.  Sophia is losing the little girl look and becoming a very attractive preteen.  Still, there are those fleeting moments when both reject the requirements of approaching adulthood and fall back to playful ways.


Sunday, October 28, 2012

THE WEDDING




It was a year ago this past summer that Dawn and Bob met via Match.com and realized early on that they shared something special.  When I spent time with them as their relationship evolved, I saw Bob treat Dawn with respect and thoughtfulness.  Bob insists on opening doors for Dawn.  On one occasion when Dawn was distracted while we talked, she opened the car's passenger door and got out.  As Bob came around, she looked up and saw the frown on his face.  She turned, opened the door and got back in and he proceeded to open the door so she could exit!  All that to say Bob treats her like a queen, not a char woman.  





Equally impressive, Brandon and Sophia are not merely her children, they and their well-being are important to Bob.  He's been the dad-on-site to Brandon and Sophia for several months.  He doesn't replace their dad, but he's willingly stepped forward to provide ongoing guidance and love for them and support for Dawn in their discipline.





It was on Christmas day 2011 that Bob asked Dawn to marry him.   Bob's only expressed desire regarding their marriage was that they have a real wedding, one with guests and a reception.  So the first of the arrangements to be made was finding a location for the September 22 ceremony. At the same time Dawn searched for and found the perfect wedding dress.  And she set about losing weight that she was uncomfortable carrying and would require extensive dress alterations if not lost. 

   

Rachelle and her children



Thanks to the help and organizational skills of her good friend, Rachelle, the days leading up to and including wedding day were orderly.  








Michelle and Brett




Brett and Michelle flew in Thursday and on Friday Brett and Bob picked up their tuxes.  Friday evening family members of both Dawn and Bob who had arrived in town for the wedding shared dinner at a local restaurant.  





While Dawn did "bridely" things such as having her hair done on Saturday,  Bob and I shared responsibility for Brandon and Sophia, getting them to their football games and then dressed for the wedding.





The ceremony was held in the company of fifty guests.  Sophia was flower girl and Brandon was Bob's best man.  















The ceremony ended with Bob, Dawn, Brandon and Sophia pouring individual vases of four different colors of sand into a larger container, symbolizing the blending of the four individuals into a family.  

The guests then moved to a larger room for the reception and dancing that followed.  Tim, Rachelle's husband, selected tunes to dance to while Rachelle continued adding to what became over 500 photos of the day's events.



In the days following the wedding, Grandma Sherry (who with her husband Terry are regarded as Dawn's other parents) and I discussed the wedding atmosphere and decorations.  We decided that it was 'casually elegant'.  I still remember the looks on Bob's and Dawn's faces afterward -- captured so well in this photo.