BRANDON AND SOPHIA - 2013

January

Sophia was 10 two months ago.  Brandon had a birthday on January 4 and is now 13, a teenager!

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

SUMMER BREAK

Brandon and Sophia (13 and 10) are out of school for the summer.  I know from the experience of past years that they will be bored in a matter of days.

While Dawn and Bob went out with friends the other evening, I took Brandon and Sophia to dinner.  I asked about their plans for summer vacation.  Brandon, like so many his age, is more comfortable asking for things he wants.  I wanted to hear him say he was going to ask the neighbor if he could mow his grass so he could earn pocket money.  Instead he replied that he has a girlfriend, evidently anticipating the possibility of filling the days texting one another. Obviously he was focused on his plans and not thinking about what she might like to do on occasion.  So I asked him how he is going to pay to take her to a movie or fund some other activity if he has no money.  He was quiet for a moment and then replied that he guessed he'd ask the neighbor if he can mow his grass.

I also told Brandon and Sophia they need to take some responsibility for themselves by keeping their bedrooms neat, doing their own laundry, including folding and putting it away, and other daily chores that Dawn should no longer be expected to do, such as picking up after them.  Sophia was willing; Brandon, not so much.  He had told Dawn not long ago that his ideal job is sitting at a desk and telling someone else what to do.  That is what he already does with his friends.  And, unfortunately, it's working for him ... so far.  

When we got home from dinner, they were to pack to spend the next five days at Matt's.  Brandon was done in under 5 minutes.  And his room was straightened up.  Sophia, on the other hand, packed two bags and I think would have taken the kitchen sink if I'd been willing to help her dislodge it from the counter. 

She had a laundry basket full of dirty clothes (or clothes that she'd taken out of the drawer but been too lazy to put back when she decided to wear something else).  I had her drag the basket to the laundry area and instructed her in how to start the machine, put in the detergent and add the clothes.  

While the clothes were being washed, she sat with me and made a list of chores, one to be done each day:  do her laundry and put it away; clean her room, do a gardening chore, etc., and things to be done daily, such as clean out her cat's litter box.

When the washer cycle was done, I went with Sophia to show her the proper way to put the clothes in the dryer.

She lifted the lid to the washer, looked in, then at me, and asked, "Where's the water?"

Huh?  I explained that it drained out.

Her eyes fell to the floor, and she lifted each foot.  "Where'd it go?" she asked.

"Out the pipe and into the sewer."

"Ewww," was her single word reply.  Then she moved the damp clothes to the dryer, put in a half-sheet of fabric softener, and pushed Start.

Since Brandon and Sophia would be up early in the morning to go to Matt's, I sent her on to bed.  When the clothes were dry, I laid them in piles as I shook out the wrinkles.  I left the rolled up socks and shirts and shorts turned wrong-side-out as I found them.  I hope the socks were dry by the time they returned home on Thursday.  And not musty-smelling.  I'm curious to see if in the future Sophia straightens out her clothes before putting them in the laundry basket.

I know it will be a long summer for Brandon as he finagles to find someone to do his chores or tries to put off what must be done until someone with a weaker will than his thinks what-the-hell and does the task just to have it done.

Sophia will do the chores, but lacks focus so will find many distractions such as Instagram and Netflix which will interfere with her getting anything done quickly.

And so the summer of 2013 begins.

BRANDON AND SOPHIA - 2012

January

Sophia was 9 this past November and Brandon, 12 in early January.

February

March

April

Grandma's Surprise 70th Birthday Party

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

THE YEARS IN REVIEW

As the end of 2012 approaches, I'm preparing for 2013.  Among my tasks was copying photos to an external hard drive.  As I cleaned up the files, deleting photos saved in multiple locations, I got sidetracked looking at the pictures.  

Brandon has grown so much in the last year:  taller by several inches, a voice that's gone from boy to man and other physical characteristics of a 12 year old about to be a teenager.  The change has been so dramatic that I decided to share photos taken annually at or around Christmas.  

Brandon was born in early January 2000, and Sophia was born 34 months later in November 2002.

2000

2001

2002

2003

2004

2005

2006

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012

This last photo was taken at Dawn's and Bob's September wedding and illustrates so well how Brandon, still 12, is changing from a boy to a young man.  Sophia is losing the little girl look and becoming a very attractive preteen.  Still, there are those fleeting moments when both reject the requirements of approaching adulthood and fall back to playful ways.

THE WEDDING

It was a year ago this past summer that Dawn and Bob met via Match.com and realized early on that they shared something special.  When I spent time with them as their relationship evolved, I saw Bob treat Dawn with respect and thoughtfulness.  Bob insists on opening doors for Dawn.  On one occasion when Dawn was distracted while we talked, she opened the car's passenger door and got out.  As Bob came around, she looked up and saw the frown on his face.  She turned, opened the door and got back in and he proceeded to open the door so she could exit!  All that to say Bob treats her like a queen, not a char woman.  

Equally impressive, Brandon and Sophia are not merely her children, they and their well-being are important to Bob.  He's been the dad-on-site to Brandon and Sophia for several months.  He doesn't replace their dad, but he's willingly stepped forward to provide ongoing guidance and love for them and support for Dawn in their discipline.

It was on Christmas day 2011 that Bob asked Dawn to marry him.   Bob's only expressed desire regarding their marriage was that they have a real wedding, one with guests and a reception.  So the first of the arrangements to be made was finding a location for the September 22 ceremony. At the same time Dawn searched for and found the perfect wedding dress.  And she set about losing weight that she was uncomfortable carrying and would require extensive dress alterations if not lost. 
   

Rachelle and her children

Thanks to the help and organizational skills of her good friend, Rachelle, the days leading up to and including wedding day were orderly.  

Michelle and Brett

Brett and Michelle flew in Thursday and on Friday Brett and Bob picked up their tuxes.  Friday evening family members of both Dawn and Bob who had arrived in town for the wedding shared dinner at a local restaurant.  

While Dawn did "bridely" things such as having her hair done on Saturday,  Bob and I shared responsibility for Brandon and Sophia, getting them to their football games and then dressed for the wedding.

The ceremony was held in the company of fifty guests.  Sophia was flower girl and Brandon was Bob's best man.  














The ceremony ended with Bob, Dawn, Brandon and Sophia pouring individual vases of four different colors of sand into a larger container, symbolizing the blending of the four individuals into a family.  

The guests then moved to a larger room for the reception and dancing that followed.  Tim, Rachelle's husband, selected tunes to dance to while Rachelle continued adding to what became over 500 photos of the day's events.

In the days following the wedding, Grandma Sherry (who with her husband Terry are regarded as Dawn's other parents) and I discussed the wedding atmosphere and decorations.  We decided that it was 'casually elegant'.  I still remember the looks on Bob's and Dawn's faces afterward -- captured so well in this photo.  

THE FAMILY TREE

Early this year Dawn asked for any information I could give her so that she could begin building the Family Tree.  She was curious, and the internet makes searching for historical information easier and easier.  However, she lacked the time to sit for hours combing through records.  So, with her permission, I took over the task.

My mother's family has always been a mystery to me.  Questions that were asked weren't answered.  And for some reason, I never learned about my father's family either.  I don't recall hearing any stories from either side about "the good old days."  In the months that have followed my initial search, there have been some unexpected results, but all have been interesting.

A good part of the success I have had in building our family tree is attributable to my cousin Ideal’s help.  Our family visited with his often when we were children.  The last time I saw him we were in college.  As I recall, on my 21st birthday I went to a bar to celebrate being “legal”, and Ideal was there.  Not only did he buy me a beer, he bought several, contributing to a memorable hangover.  Then the college year ended, I graduated and my family moved away.  At the same time, our mothers had a falling out and contact between the families ceased.  When I began the ancestry search, my lack of knowledge and the possibility he (and his sister, Jeannie) would have information to share that could shed light on so many questions was the impetus to reach out to him.  

Thanks to Google, I’d located him years before.  But now I wrote to him, hoping that our mothers’ disagreement hadn’t affected our relationship.  I mailed the letter, eager to reestablish our family ties and hoping he could supply helpful information.

A week after mailing the letter, he called!  He had tried to find me and my brothers but been unsuccessful.  He didn't know my married name and neither brother is on Facebook or can be found with a Google search.  We talked for an hour, each of us telling the other about our lives over the past 49 years.

Iva, Bert and Grandma

Fortunately his mother had collected many photographs of family members during her life.  Before contacting Ideal, I had found birth records on Ancestry.com that indicated our grandmother was not an only child as I'd thought.  She had a brother.  Confirmation came in a 1900 photograph Ideal has -- three young people:  Grandma, her brother, and, apparently, a sister, as well.  Their names were written on the photograph.   Now, even after several months, while there are later photos of the sister (with her husband and their daughter), I have been unable to find the date or place of her birth.  On the other hand, I learned that she was married a second time.

Great-grandfather Jonas

The search for information on Grandma's father, Jonas, has been slow and the rewards, scant.  There is a record of his marriage.  He and wife, Jennie, left the area in Ohio where they’d been raised and moved to Michigan where he was a logger.  Years later, the 1880 census shows they were in Iowa, where he was a plasterer.  And then there is no census data on the family for 30 years.  Apparently in that time, Great-grandmother Jennie passed away, for once Grandpa Jonas is “found” again, his marital status is shown as “widower.”

Great-grandmother Jennie

Jennie was one of ten children and apparently she remained in touch with a brother and sister whose photographs remain.  In fact it was through identifying who those people were that we realized their sister “Nancy J.“ was, in fact,  our great-grandmother, Jennie.

 

Mom's four older siblings

Mom had five siblings, four sisters and a brother who died when he was 10 and Mom, 3.  I have always thought his name was Orlie.  The Ancestry web site yielded the name Orla, which was also the name of a paternal uncle.  

Mom's Dad

Grandpa's brothers, Fred and Orla

What? My grandfather had brothers? AND sisters?  Why did I never know that?  Perhaps because Grandpa and Grand- ma divorced before I was born and my contact with him was infrequent.  I don’t recall ever hearing references to his extended family.  But now there are pictures of two brothers and two sisters.

Maternal Grandparents

Aunt Stella, Aunt Janette and Mom

Uncle Fred, Dad, Aunt Clara

Dad was the oldest of three children.  Although Clara died in her late teens or early twenties, I have been unable to find a record of her date of death.  

Grandpa was a grocer

Mom and Dad

As a young man, Dad played softball

Mom modeled early in their marriage

Tracing the family tree is made more difficult by the various spellings of surnames and even the given names.  I found Jonas’s surname spelled four ways and his given name, two.  He’s also confused with a brother, John, who died in infancy a year before Jonas was born.

I have enjoyed putting together our family puzzle, looking for the links that confirm relationships.  The ability to copy information of many ancestors that others have gathered in creating their family trees has obviously been helpful and  welcome.  I have verified that the children listed to any couple were born before the mother died (occasionally a researcher slips up!) and born after either parent was of an age to beget offspring.

Both of the branches on my mother’s side have been traced back by others to the 1500’s in Europe.  Unfortunately such data hasn't been collected on Dad's family.  His maternal grandfather came to the United States from Germany.  Until someone adds information gained from German records, that branch stops with his birth in 1854.  Similarly, there doesn't appear to be any work done on the paternal side of Dad's family prior to the birth in 1803 of Dad's great-grandfather.

Four branches down, four to go.  Next I'll work on Roy's family tree.  I already know from hearing Park family stories that there is a Cherokee Indian in our Tree.  A cousin of Roy's has put considerable effort into gathering records and I will ask for her help when I get back to gathering data.

Although we have corresponded frequently since this project was begun a few months ago, Ideal and his wife, Judith Ann, stopped here to spend the night last weekend on their way to Indiana to visit his family and their friends.  Being with Ideal, seeing the smile I remember and hearing his laugh again have brought back memories of our childhood.  As important as finding ancestors has been for me, becoming reacquainted with my cousins Ideal and Jeannie is a equally significant reward. 

Me with cousin Ideal who has shared information and photos and his wife, Judith Ann.